I made the mistake early on, the critical error, of stubbornly refusing every piece of advice what was ever offered me. “Don’t wash the mushrooms!” bleats a stoned bestfriend, bemoaning his mother’s exhortion, and her a schoolcook, woman who oughta know. But no, it was all my way, because I am smart and stubborn and stop fucking with all my shit! That was until I heard the boxers talking about it. They said that any true great must always be willing to learn, from another. And what I come to see much later is that it can be any other, regardless of appearance or seeming status. In fact it might be a damn sight better thing to side with the opinion of him least likely lookin’ to succeed. Not every winner’s a grinner.

I could probably be doing with some advice right about now, on how to deal with this ‘piece.’ “Fuckin’ make somethin’ out of it, you lazy kant,” or “Try adding up all the sensible bits until you have a full chapter.” I’m not sure if these advices are coming directly from my mind or the characters therein (forever bleeding,) Jesus, I’m not sure of anything much nowadays. But I will say this: Take The Advice.

A second example, for noseyparkers and the like. Once I was in a band full of grown grumpy men, well accomplished in their respective fields with battlescars to prove et all. This one in particular I had trouble with suggested to me mildly one evening that perhaps I might benefit from some singing lessons. Well to say I was affronted, insulted, and all the rest would be an undergarment. I said to the cunt, something like, “Naw, that’s not for me, I have to go my own way,”(the seriously taken, the little boy least) and he rejoined, adjusting his tone in a rare sensitive moment “Well I don’t think there’s many could teach ye. It’s just…” Now I could see nothing to be gained from such an arrangement then, but looking back, yes I see how it could’ve helped me along. What I needed was: A Mentor.

And so now I go running the streets asking every Jim, Joe or Mary advice on how to tie my laces, or what’s the best way to go shoplifting(for an acting role, you understand.) Anyway, I wouldn’t call this a desperate plea, or a call out or anything. But if there is some wise all-knower out there, willing to dispense a little of that somethin’ somethin’, then whack some my way. I’ll run it through my hair or use it like Vicks Vaporub, y’see. Need sorted, is all am sayin’. Right.