Time for a bit of the ole spasmodic. Stevie Wonder’s playin’, he hasn’t a notion. And the fact that I’m welcome round the doors of The Longfellow is a wonder indeed. A young fellow is a good fellow when he plays a mean harp; and means also to share it about. Well-versed in weaving, bird-flight simulated a little, let the pack keep its shape whilst giving the whole thing a little pulsation. Visible traces, pulmonary in essence, a lifetime’s quintessence. Indeed, indeed. A good deed done is better than none, and a bad sausage battered may lead to the gun. So eat none, my son.

Big pile a craic that. Manowar kickin’ now. Yeah. Warriors of the world! Proper struttin’. This is nightwalking music. I invoke the Gods of unspoken intimidation. None shall eye me. Dugga-duh Dugga-duh Dugga-duh. Yeah, ye need a bitta that strut about ye, walking city streets in the dark. Don’t mess, fucker! I mean let’s be honest here, if it really came down to it ye’d take a good shoein. But the unshakable belief, nay, the sheer delusion, that it takes to take yourself off as a true hard man, that’s another thing in itself altogether. A similar thing when it’s daytime and the Sex Symbol archetype is invoked. Yes, every girl is looking your way. They’re laughing? It’s because they fancy you. A stolen glance here, a for-sure check-out there, aw yes. Still got it.

Just wee things you have to do sometimes, to keep yourself sane, or otherwise. Let’s do a wee poem.

There once was a man who played bass
Who told lies so expertly his face
Took on a faint shine
Yes he filled up his bines
With homegrown and liquorice lace

He worked his way through all of the bais
And looked for his comfort in toys
Though he sang fairly well
He couldn’t help but give hell
To the Department for Neighbourhood Noise

So they placed him up high on a hill
And allowed him a dosage of pills
If he’d just keep his peace
And co-opt with the p’lice
It weren’t long till his life lost its thrill

The man had lost all of his friends
And so his tale comes to an end
If you’re gonna play dice
Bai, ye’d better think twice
‘Cause on this shit your wee life depends xo