Fran – Did ye ever taste the crin of a coon’s cup?
Davy – Naw, I was too busy lookin’ up yer ma’s skirt
Joyve – Here that’s not nice she’s a woman
Blotch- Wind yer neck in wee man or you’ll get a batter round yer ankles

So that’s the boys. Meet ‘em three. All good lads like, spazzin’ out in a wee room. I only landed to play music like, but they tempted me into nonsense. Thought I was the next Ed Sheeran before realisin there was more to his bleak. I tried speakin.

Me – Well lads, what can I say. Truly marvellous to be accepted into the fold.
Grinchy – Marvellous? What do you think this is, fuckin’ Richard Whitely?
Me – Naw I mean, it’s awful nice of ye to have me round.
Blitch – You’re fockin right it is, now fire this line inte ye, ya wee fruit.

Took the line an it pure banged the nose off me. Not like Mike Tyson mind, more like a good right hand off Roberto Duran. Said to him and all.

Me – Lads if I was a boxer I’d be Manos de Piedres, Hands of Stone.
Belch – Hands of Stone? More Like Hands of Foam.

*guffaws*

Davy – Aye lad, you’re better off fuckin’ up. Mouth on ye like a wet banana.
Me *smiles* Aye but that’s not why your granny’s grief!
Devy – Fuck up lad. That’s my granny you’re talkin’ about

This is when shit started to hit the fan.

Crotch – Did ye never take the notion lad, to get up and take a jump of the Bridge of London
Me – Naw can’t say that I ever did, don’t swim, but I heard fat floats so you’d be arite.
Snitch – You’ll not be long lastin’ in here wee cub, best grab yer ball an go home.
Me – You’d best sit up and show me some respect young sir, you know I’ve done this once or twice before.
Bulch – Well then ye know by now not to be fuckin with people’s grannies. Unless that’s what you’re into of course… huh huh huh.
Me – I’ll accept anything for a bunch of tea.

Later

critch – This is shite
Me – anoe
Clip – Ye wanna line?
Jip – What’s in it?
Buntsy – Windowlene, and a pint a powder.
Bunsday – Pinto beans I love them.

I whacked out a few a few lines and looked up into the security cam, wee wink.