Percy Pranced. He peggled along in a fashion most poncey: never more was a man so proud. Up and down the streets of Belfast he paraded, and shaded manys a minor in his glare. Percy was a well-known man, and a well-liked one to boot, though some called him fruit. He never failed to falter at the appropriate stops, and wavered only slightly when wandering took it’s toll. There was a day that came, and on this particular day Percy was patrolling. His peers were ambivalent as per, and so he ambled most delightedly, quare sight is he, when who should he appear upon but a Grinchnote.

“Who goest here?” Growled the Grinch
“It’s fuckin’ Percy McDarcy, your one and only darling, me ole son, sandwich-bake.”
“Ah! A faghot! The likes of your kind are not welcome in my vicinity, go now into the deep, foul craytur!”
“Ye can go and fug yersel, I wog these streeds all of the time an’ a won’t have a Grinchnote slimer tellin’ me all what to do and watnatt.”
“I will pierce your breast with pointed pen if you come one inch closer, little fairy boy who plays the part.”
“What if I toult ye that a wasn’t even a fairy boy to begin with an a ony dress uppa this way to impress the girlies?”
“Oh? So, it’s girlies you like? Well, well, a man after my own fart. Ahahahahaha. Go free, my friend, may life be good to you!”
“Go and fog yerself, ye dirty wee Grinchnote, fuggin knowin’ nahin abut life or anything, see ye round in a sewer wif like Splinter and all the other rats hahahaha.”

Percy ran off, legs kicking out wildly to the sides, laughin’ his proverbial beg aff.

Next day, Percy decided he’d go out all dressed in black leather, S and M gear, rain was lashin. He pomped and preened, jackedbooted he thumped, concrete slabs quavered in fear and cracked. When who should he appear upon but…a Grinchnote!

“WHO GOEST THERE-EST!” Thundered the Gringecrunt.
“It’s foghin me, Percy Pig be pickled, your head that is, ya wally-whomper!”
“Go far from me! Gimp’s are not permitted within my presence.”
“Am nat a fuckin gimp!”
“What in God’s good word are you then? ANSWER ME BOY!”
Percy demurred. Straightened up his back and answered sensibly,
“I am a straight up heterosexual male without any thought of fetish, I simply wore this leather as a prank, it’s my friend’s birthday you see.”
“Oh it is?” Answered The Gronch. “Well, I see. My good man, I have wronged you. Here, please take this sheaf of unmarked bills, buy your friend for me a nice present, he deserves it, HAVIN’ A FRIEND LIKE YOU! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA.”
“ACK FUCK AFF, YE BIG BALLIX! I’LL TELL YE WHAT, THE TWO OF US IS GOIN’ FER PINTS! HAHAHAHAA!”

They went on to be married later that year.