You’d be hard pushed to come up with a better title. Yep, that is quality title-age. Pure shite. Hi. Aye. Ano. Wise. Up? Sucka!

You’ve come this far so it’s best now to hold on. Hold the fuck on cause there’s nowt else for it. Just have the pure laugh. Drink wee smoothies an all brighten your skin up wonderous. Wunderbar breakneck speed gone wah? Talk all funny an do wee dances. Acquire the taste for outdated rarities and wince. Crumple up paper with the back end of your toes, it’s awful satisfactory so tisss.

Yep and be sure always to advise those nearest and dearest on the dangers of delinquents, do. Write back to all whom enquire upon your wellbeing and whereabouts, reassuring each that a ‘spot on the pew’ awaits. Anyhow, regardless of any humdrummery where without goest the ganch, reach on and reach until the master will teach and you’ll fetch him a peach being pet now it’s sit and submerge. Divulge, don’t diverge, explurge most explicitly, lick stamps go quick, to the office see Pat, spill milk on his cat, wipe shite on the mat and make sure your amends, this means no pretence. At least, no more than is absolutely necessary.

Yas, you see you see sometimes, and sometimes you don’t, and most difficult it is to sit still while your will is so weak. What’s the peak time of operation for this particular callback service anyway? But question you may, the waters they rise, you stifle their cries, the five children inside of you, you weep, confessions you keep, the clock ticks a little…

It’s an awful grey heaviness the likes of which you’ve never before felt. And so the question comes again, will it rain? Will you pop the brolly just in time, or soak to your skin and choke on brine? It’s nearly time.

So just about the moment when it’s killing you to lift the pen but you can’t move you’ve been caged in, they say it’s you, but you know it’s them, now what? Got to speak, man. Got to spill them guts. You’re trembling. That’s how you know it’s the good stuff. Let’s inspect this thing, why don’t we? Make a little inquisition. Be brave.

Anyway, you can’t be the only one. Tomorrow there shines surely a brighter sun. Just speak your truth, it’s killing you, I know. Just let it go, man. Take it all apart, analyse it, if you feel it helps you. Then smile. Next thing you know you’ll be helping somebody who needs it a whole lot more than you do, and you mightn’t even know it. But if you do cop on, it’s a real nice feeling, you know it. Keep ‘er lit.