She was a cunt that couldn’t be beaten beat bate, too late. Pumelled though he did it remained rigid yet stickly sweet and pungent. Deep dive, thrive.

So fuck what r ye gonna do about it. Well if that’s what you say this is what I say and so we all say that there’s a spook in the room. And though your perception was off there for the nine months last, now you’re eschewing back into that spooky wee time where awareness of the whole thing is heightened and such. Tis a good craic time provided you’ve paid your way. And if you’ve not then it’s bits and drabs. Wee tastes just to taunt ye and say haha ye didn’t pay in, ye kant.

Some of us have better things to be doing, to be quite honest with you. Real life shit. Real life happens, hafta behave and be good. Run the gamut. Craic. Arite let’s drop a few names in here. Barney Kessel, Wes Montgomery, Grant Green, Jimmy Smith. Mungo Jerry, Charles and Eddie, The Charlo Twins.

Yeah so we’re playing jazz. Fully-fledged jazz. Only problem is I don’t know any tunes. I have my own, and even those I can’t remember. Aw shit where’d it all go wrong. But here. Lemme tell you something bout jazz, kid. You wanna be with it? You gotta get low down. And greasy, kid. Reeeeal greasy.

And the other thing. Kid. You never say the same thing twice. Never say the same thing, eh, two times. Ye hear? Kid. Now, onto the fundamentals. You need to know all the chords. Including Gsharp. And Fminor. Cflat diminished with an added nine. Yeah, get that shit down. Scales, modes, angular scales, two tone scales, half diminished, both ways. Learn it all, you’ll need it.

You ever heard of a guy called Django Reindhart? You know that he had only one finger? Yeah that’s right, so better get your shit together. Quit your dayjob. Dump your girlfriend. Move house. Do it, kid. Do. It. Van Morrison? Yeah? Greatest jazz singer that ever lived. Him and Joe Pass. Don’t you correct me, boy! Sarah Fitzgerald, Ella Baker, yeah. Nat Queen Coot. Franz Spinootruh. All a’ the greats. Kid.

But look, what am tryin’ to say is. See when you step out in the middle of the club? And you feel the eyes of every cunt’s girlfriend on you fresh? That’s when you know your shit’s good, regardless of the man tryin’ to panhandle a pinch of your craic. Be aware, and unafraid, to drop the cunt, at a second’s notice. Do for you, my brother. Let’s all have the craic.