Grease your bones
With pineal secretions
As a pre-emptive means
Of negating occupational hazards

As you well know
A creased spine
Finds you receptive
To creative suggestion

Prepare sensibly
Or end up like me
Warmest regards,
The human question mark

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There must be
Some good
In all of this

Vain strivings
Incidentally made fit
For the foreign transmission

Fine-tuned your receiver
For God’s instruction
And a necessary lesson

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The eager uptake
Of patriotic impulse
May well expose
A lack in your learning

We understand little
In the race to spout
And find victims
For the amount outstanding

It’s a good setup
That nevertheless fails
Us as ‘learned’ men
We all need a target

Discrimination
Is a proud act
Learn their culture
If you want their respect

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I’d me alarm set for the painter and decorator coming at nine o clock in the morning. He would talk in a scathing drawl so I was practicing my tradesman patter. He told me to go into town and collect a special paint that was new in to the post office so I had to do big words again and stop speaking in a stupid voice. The blonde haired post office woman gave me awful bad manners ‘cause I was from the country, and therefore a Cathoholic. And is it any wonder I’m bitter? When the gruff odd jobs fella went for his piss, had to rename him there ‘cause he really didn’t take the necessary pride in his assigned mode of expression, plus that special paint turned out to be solid concrete, and to be honest I think he was in the bathroom laughing. So anyway, for a good joke, I went in and climbed up his ladder, doing my best impression of a poor person painting a wall, and he came in and snorted then told me to ‘get down to fuck off that wall.’ Seemed he had a bit more pride than he was willing to let on. Anyway, I burned some hash downstairs to give him the impression I was some sort of dying junkie. He turned around and licked the paint right off his brush, then I got him to do it again and took a video which is currently going viral if you haven’t heard. I then started telling him about the time I’d pulled a policewoman, and brought her home and she beat the fuck out of me. It was a bit graphic for his tastes probably ‘cause next thing it was ‘oh Chopin this, Dostoevsky, yes.’ He said he was going to university and I said what one, Open? And he was rippin’ then started re-enacting lectures and all, and he wasn’t bad to be fair. He’d probably have made a better lecturer than window cleaner, or whatever it was he was supposed to be doing. He left anyway, said he’d a coffee date with a friend who was ‘very high up in the media.’ I tutted theatrically and slammed the door.

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You know they say with AI, they can take a real eloquent naive type, and ram him full of solid macho sense and manners? Yeah it’s like for to break down barriers between wage slaves and the office boys. So yep you can get the reverse too, feed a regular, man of the world type a chip. Yeah you give them a chip, and it lets them read the newspaper, you know without some librarian in the corner, peering over?

Sounds great, but it’s not all that easy. Being selected for the programme is one thing, then you’ve to undergo screening and other preparations. Yeah, you have to show that you can overcome life crises, show that hunger. But basically, yeah, they put you in a camp for about three months, and you’re given martial arts training, and you’ve to go to prison, to demonstrate the benefits and encourage uptake.

Yeah then when you get out, you get a new role, in the community. The prison part puts some people off, but you just have to get in there. It’s all good man, see you later, yeah?

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Art: a phish shell
Fiscal front for sure
We’ve all our speciality
That’s what makes it good

In the back of cars
You’d roll big skinners
Never knowing what good grass was
And pollen was a gift

TV was good then
Big Breakfast and TFI
Best of good gameshows
With prizes worth winning

Sinking minibuds
The ouler lads
Runnin’ and gunnin’
Duck don’t dive

I was pickin’ mushrooms
Abused them and lost
About half a personality
Smoked the other half to fuck

But that’s arite
Made a decent comeback
Three years sober
Rewired the brain

So that’s what got me
What got you?
Answers on a postcard
A B or C

———————————————————————————–

Orbit chewing gum was shite
For blowing bubbles
Bubbaloo was good gear
But ye wouldn’t be caught chewin’ it now

————————————————————————————

I always had a good punch
But I took a bad beatin’ one day
We were only just gettin’ up
And he knew a few more tricks

Like I say no excuses
But he’d a load of bruises
He did beat me though
Near drowned me in a puddle

———————————————————————————–

‘The Hut’ was little more
Than an abandoned shed
There were rules you’d to learn
Even the leaders

It was good craic
Like a trial
For adulthood
On drugs

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A policeman put my arm
In a twist once
For acting the lig

He winked at my bad arm
I’d pulled his tassel
Now I’m healing

I also jumped in a bin
For psychosis reasons
My friend was rippin’

The good doctor later
Told me all the craic
Made the necessary checks

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And what should it profit a man
Said the boy in black
Legally the ‘aliens’ stood straight

After service, the pastor had to wash
Each of their vehicles
As they exited the car park

Then he wore a billboard
Delivering the news to fugitive queens
Before double dropping at the rave

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It’s a black hearted scowl
That you’ve to starve for
If it’s full force you’re wantin’
For to put in your work

Night follows day
And the rain falls hard
Beam it on out
Through the red moon dawn

—————————————————————————————

Access a state
Of non-attachment
Neutral spaces exist
For this very purpose

Give your head a break
Only when you’re due it
Walk the ceilings barely
Aware of what’s afoot

——————————————————————————————

Fresh sprung insights
Want to crack your peace
It’s an unwanted gift
That’ll you’ll unearth
With gratitude in time

———————————————————————————-

If every thought
Is a signal
Or a suggestion
People spring to mind

The line is logged
They have to say
Legally it’s your right
They’re just doing their jobs

——————————————————————————————–

Spasm in the chasm
Suspended in disbelief
Best got gear
Gives us a new angle

That WW1 parachute
Is gonna wilt
Wiley Coyote
Tonne weight hassle

The music will be good
And we’ll hook up
With the squaws and their chiefs
We always got along good anyway

———————————————————————————————–

Mischievous copper
Asked to take down
My particulars
Told him I wasn’t wearing any

The dirty protest left that wagon fucked
And him livin’ out of it
Hosed down and combed
New grey tracksuit class

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